Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Mercies Are New---New Year's ReVolutions!
Okay . . . so this isn't really a post from me. I must send you over to Edie's blog. I just love her post. Honestly. I feel the same way. HOPEFUL! Just for my life in general. There are sins in my life that I have been battling for A. LONG. TIME. But you know what. I am hopeful that HIS MERCIES ARE NEW EVERY MORNING. I am hopeful that He has made me white as snow . . . and that the grace He has placed on my life is enough . . . it is sufficient for me to walk in His victory. I will not give up. He IS changing me. EVERY DAY. He is completing the work He began. But like Edie said . . . these victories that we experience . . . from glory to glory. Those are just icing on the cake. He really has done it all . . . and I need nothing else in life. All I need is Him . . . My Salvation and Hope. He is so good and faithful!
Doors Of Life
I have been planning on printing this for so long! (Check her sidebar for the free download.) I think I am going to make one for me . . . but also make some for gifts. I just love fun looking pics like this one . . . but more than that . . . I like the emotion and inspiration it brings to my heart. I added the Scripture at the top . . . but I think when I print the photo and frame it for others I will probably include some reflections . . . like . . . this poem or something . . .
Doors Of Life (by me :)
When God presents you with a new door
Do you run towards it like a yummy s'more
Ponder it like the many choices at a store
Or is the possibility of change something you abhor?
Some doors are enticing like chocolate icing
But they are not meant for you.
The right door might look scary,
For those ones, trust Jesus, and He will carry
You through.
Sometimes we stand in front of locked doors willing them to open up
Instead, turn your eyes to the Way and trust He will fill your cup.
He will guide your steps. Look around. Who knows
Maybe, He has in fact, opened a window like the saying goes
Or maybe, a different, better door is right under your nose.
Always trust Jesus because He is ALWAYS true.
Cling closely and His Spirit will surely lead you.
He knows which direction is the very best,
And for you, He wants absolutely nothing less.
So remember not to judge a door by how it appears,
Ask the Father what He thinks and listen with open ears.
If he says "go", then go through with trust,
And know this next chapter will not be a bust.
Because even the hardest rooms we enter,
Hold jewels of character at their center.
Go be where God wants you, it's the safest place
Walk humbly with faith and love in all you face.
Know that He is knocking on the door of your heart,
Listen dear friend and please be smart . . .
If you invite Him in to live and lead,
Your soul's deepest hungers He will feed!
Ask, seek, knock on the Father's door of Glory
He will answer, be found, and write you a new story
As He fills you with gifts of His Holy Spirit
The Kingdom is being changed, can't you hear it?!
Walk in His Spirit's power and might
Trust He is with you and will take care of the fight
So choose the door you are called to go through,
And make Christ the ONE you truly pursue!
. . . What's Up With The ALL. THE. DOTS?!!
Okay. I probably should have mentioned this when I started the blog. I'm a dot girl. I like them . . . A LOT (in case you haven't noticed.) I think they are cute. And . . . they mean . . . pause. Cuz. Well, I pause a lot while talking in real life. So . . . I like to write like I talk. Do I believe they are grammatically correct in the frenzy that I use them? No. Do I care? No. :) If you glance back at my notes . . . even in high school you will find my dot dot dot trademark there. (Although, I didn't let it slip into our yearbook . . . I was a very strict editor, lol. I wanted that book PERFECT. I like things . . . well . . . perfect. That is why I am reading this book right now :) Seriously, though. These babies have been with me a long while . . . and I am not about to give them up. It is not like I am turning my blog in for a writing class! So, if it bothers you . . . I'm really sorry. That is just part of me . . . and you are going to either have to deal with it . . . or :cry: stop reading. I am not capable of change in this area. :) (Ugh. Just typing that last sentence I heard the loving rebuke from HS, "You can do all things through Jesus Christ who strengthens you." So. Yes. I am capable of change . . . but have decided at this present time . . . it is not worth pursuing change in this particular area. :)
Learning to Judge NOT . . . and Glean A Lot
I have been thinking about this a lot in the last day or so. I had a life changing experience last spring when I was at Disney World. I had all three kiddos and my super awesome cuz, Aubrey with me. We had a RIDICULOUSLY difficult evening . . . (one of those that is comical to think back on . . . how could sooo many things go wrong at once?!) . . . We were exhausted . . . and on the way back to our car . . . really . . . we were practically to our car . . . my eldest dear child decided to have a fit. He stopped walking right there in the parking lot and started crying. He said his legs hurt too much to go on. We told him . . . to walk. We were so close! Besides, Aub and I had strollers, the other kids, purses, bags etc. There was no way for one of us to help my very capable son. We kept walking knowing that in a moment he would follow suit. Well, two women were walking by as my sweet child erupted into his tantrum. They commented to each other on me being an awful mom . . . and how he just wanted attention . . . but they did it loud enough where both Aub and I heard it. We could hardly believe it . . . I mean . . . seriously?! Those women had no idea what we had endured . . . they had no idea what was going on . . . or what was going on with my son . . . they just judged what they saw. . . and judged incorrectly. I am so thankful for them though . . . bc God has really used that moment in my life. It will be one I never forget. It has really opened my eyes to the fact that I DON'T KNOW what is going on with people . . . so who am I to judge? I don't know their backgrounds . . . their inner struggles . . . their broken hearts . . . I don't know why they do what they do. Only God knows that stuff . . . so I am happy to leave the judging up to Him . . . the righteous judge!
Along with the idea of not judging . . . God has been speaking to me about how there is often jewels found in all the different expressions of Christianity . . . just waiting to be gleaned. I may not be Catholic . . . but I know some Catholics that love Jesus . . . and you know what . . . sometimes they say things that challenge and grow me! I need to keep my heart open to allow God to speak to me through whomever He wants to speak to me through . . . even if it is a person from a different denomination that I do not agree with a lot of his doctrine . . . or a donkey for that matter (this is a reference to OT if you didn't catch it . . .). If God is speaking . . . I want to be listening! I have just found . . . I can look past the doctrinal differences . . . and really glean wisdom from some of those people. God uses them in my life . . . He uses them to show me different ways to look at things.
I remember in college when I was a Young Life leader . . . my dear friend and Area Director (one of the wisest men I know!) taught about how rabbis usually had a special teaching or yolk . . . it was like their life teaching and it was the thing they majored on . . . the big revelation God had given them. I have found this to be true of people . . . often. God puts passions in different people for different truths . . . Often those people think their "truth" is the most important one (bc they are passionate about it, lol) . . . but I like learning from different people and gleaning the different revelations God has dispersed among His people. I don't always agree with everything . . . but I have a Daddy I can bring each and every revelation to . . . and His Spirit helps me sort through what is from Him and what isn't . . . ya know?!
Along with the idea of not judging . . . God has been speaking to me about how there is often jewels found in all the different expressions of Christianity . . . just waiting to be gleaned. I may not be Catholic . . . but I know some Catholics that love Jesus . . . and you know what . . . sometimes they say things that challenge and grow me! I need to keep my heart open to allow God to speak to me through whomever He wants to speak to me through . . . even if it is a person from a different denomination that I do not agree with a lot of his doctrine . . . or a donkey for that matter (this is a reference to OT if you didn't catch it . . .). If God is speaking . . . I want to be listening! I have just found . . . I can look past the doctrinal differences . . . and really glean wisdom from some of those people. God uses them in my life . . . He uses them to show me different ways to look at things.
I remember in college when I was a Young Life leader . . . my dear friend and Area Director (one of the wisest men I know!) taught about how rabbis usually had a special teaching or yolk . . . it was like their life teaching and it was the thing they majored on . . . the big revelation God had given them. I have found this to be true of people . . . often. God puts passions in different people for different truths . . . Often those people think their "truth" is the most important one (bc they are passionate about it, lol) . . . but I like learning from different people and gleaning the different revelations God has dispersed among His people. I don't always agree with everything . . . but I have a Daddy I can bring each and every revelation to . . . and His Spirit helps me sort through what is from Him and what isn't . . . ya know?!
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Words of the Year: Be Present
Hey friends! I just wanted to invite you to join in "The Word of the Year" with me this year. For some of you . . . you might not have heard of this . . . for others . . . you might have participated before :) For those who don't know . . . the basic idea is that you pray about one area of life where you would like to see growth in character during this next year . . . and pick a word to represent it. For example, last year my Word of the Year was "Peace". . . this year . . . my Words are "Be Present" (with God and my kids). I, personally . . . like to make a plan of action . . . of ways that I can actually agree with God and faithfully pursue this character. Although, some people just pick the word and pray that God would change that area in them . . . whatever you feel led to do is fine :) It is between you and God. I just wanted to challenge you with this because it changed my life last year when I did it for the first time . . . so I am hopeful that God will use it in a big way for you as well :)
If you are interested and would like to see what some other people are thinking of for this year . . . here is a link :)
If you are interested in hearing a little about how God used the Word of the Year for me last year . . . you can read about it here . . . or in the 2011 letter I will be sending out soon :)
Last year, I made a list of verses to memorize, books to read . . . and ways to focus on peace. I did not get done with all I put on my list . . . but God faithfully did so much in my life through my "word" anyways! :) This year, while I am focusing on "being present". . . I am going to continue my pursuit of peace . . . because I know that God is still doing a lot in that area of my life . . . and I will probably get to some of those books and verses :) Here is what I have brainstormed for me personally this year:
Being Present With God:
* Daily Quiet Time:
spend time worshiping and thanking God for who He is
reading my Bible
journaling to God and listening to God
praying for my kids, husband, self and others (I really like this book!)
* Listen to worship music and pray in the Spirit during cleaning, working out, and shower times
* Pray that God would give me a focused mind during the times I have set aside for just me and God . . . I don't want to be thinking about my "to do" list during this time!
* Scripture review and memory:
post it on my phone and around my house (I have taken a screen shot on my iphone of the verse I am working on and set it as my background for my lock screen---very helpful!)
I would like to implement this system with my kids
Listen to scripture music like Seeds Family Worship (put on my playlist so I am being soaked in Scripture)
* Set my alarm on my phone to go off throughout the day to intentionally think of God and be thankful . . . kind of like a reminder to point my mind and heart back to Jesus . . .
* Be in a habit of quickly repenting and turning towards God . . . I do not want any sin in my heart to stand in my way of seeking Him!
* Read:
The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence...and then put it into practice!!
With Kids
* Each day (Mon-Fri) spend at least 15 minutes playing or cuddling intentionally with each kid individually, 30 minutes on weekends
* Do at least one fun, out of the ordinary thing each week with the kids (play in the snow, build a fort, bake cookies, make a craft, take a field trip, have a game night, do a science experiment etc). Here is a good link for this too :)
* Turn off tv during meals and eat and talk with kids
* Read to kids before bed (Bible, chapter book)
* Sing, pray, rock, rub backs before bed
* Take pictures a lot and look through them with the kids...make going through albums an end of the month tradition
* Pray about what areas God wants to work on in my kids and in my relationship with them and intentionally help them to grow in those areas
* Put together a "love plan" for each kid. Pray about ideas on how to show that child how much he is loved . . . and do it! (Each kid is so different!) This should include lots of "I love you"s, kisses and hugs!!!
* Do not get upset over "things" getting ruined and messes made . . .
* Computer time for me: once in the morning and at night once kids are in bed . . . not during the day. It is too distracting for me!
* Focus on being gentle in spirit and being humble and apologizing when I am in the wrong . . .
* Make an effort to actively listen to my kids and what is on their hearts . . . and to respond with compassion.
* Read this daily during my quiet time . . . to remind me to be an abiding mom . . . not a super mom.
* Print off this post and read over it daily during my QT
More Books I am Interested in Reading This Year:
* One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voscamp- Focuses on developing a thankful heart towards God. (This is sooo important for being present with God. A thankful heart ushers you into the gates of His Presence . . . and THAT is where I want to be! See Psalm 100:4-5)
* The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence- A classic written by a monk that cultivated a deep intimacy with the LORD during his time serving and washing dishes . . . he learned to commune with the Father during the mundane tasks of the day.)
* A Praying Life: Connecting With God in a Distracting World by Paul Miller - A good friend (Candace!!!) says this is the best book she's read on prayer . . . and this girl reads a lot . . . so now I'm interested :)
* Grace for the Good Girl: Letting Go of the Try-Hard Life- This is about not getting works focused . . . but focusing on receiving from God . . . I think this is an easy pitfall to fall into . . . on both sides . . . getting too works based . . . and forgetting that our good works are "filthy rags" to Christ . . .and that in NO WAY do they make God love us more or get us into heaven . . . we are saved ONLY THROUGH GRACE . . . or on the other side . . . getting lazy . . . where we are just okay with sin in our lives . . . and forgetting that we are to "earnestly seek Him". . . and that we "work out our salvation with fear and trembling". . . that "faith without works is dead." I think this will be a good one for me to read so that I don't fall into one of those pitfalls . . . as I seek Christ and His presence . . . I don't want it to become a religious thing where I feel condemnation when I am not "doing" enough . . . ya know? I want to seek Christ . . . not the things that lead us to Him . . . Besides . . . I have always been one of those "good girls". . . I think this is a book about encouragement that God loves us even though we can't possibly be good enough . . .
* Made To Crave: Satisfying Your Deepest Desire With God Not Food by Lysa Terkeurst - I am working on getting in shape. . . in fact . . . a lot of my time with God is while I am working out . . . Eating well and working out is a challenge . . . for most people I think . . . I don't want to fill my life with food . . . or to turn to food when I need to be turning to God and His presence . . .
* Reshaping It All by Candace Cameron Bure - Another book like the one above . . .
There are also some books on peace and gentleness that I didn't get to last year or want to revisit . . . :) Here is that list:
* Homeschooling With A Meek and Quiet Spirit (with workbook)
* Calm My Anxious Heart (with workbook)
(I also like to read The Final Quest Series by Rick Joyner every year . . . and I am thinking of reading some books on heaven to encourage my heart as I continue to work through the pain of missing Achazia . . . like Heaven is For Real, 90 Minutes in Heaven, The Divine Revelation of Heaven)
Things I want to Listen to:
Shan recommended this from a conference she went to :)
Scripture I want to Memorize:
I don't have this all down yet . . . but right now I am working on this one.
I think I will go through out the year and whatever He is speaking to me about that week . . . that is what I will focus on with Scripture Memory . . .
I also didn't get to memorizing my peace scriptures from last year . . . so I might focus on some of these:
Okay friends . . . that is what God has put on MY heart! I would love to hear what God is speaking to you about . . . feel free to share so I can encourage you along the journey :)
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Achazia Jean Jackson
I wanted to post about my sweet baby girl . . . and the journey God has/is taking me through this year with peace. You know. It's funny . . . bc this blog is named Achazia-Me . . . which means . . . "The LORD holds-Me." Now, isn't that the truth, lol! I have loved the name Achazia for a long while and used to joke with John that my name should have been Achazia not Holly bc I LOVE to be held . . . and to be held by Daddy?! I mean. I seriously cannot think of a more wonderful thing. I was planning on eventually using Achazia as a middle name for one of my baby girls . . . since we sort of had the "E" thing going on . . . but that was apparently not God's plan. Within a few moments after I found out that the baby girl in my belly had died I knew her name was Achazia Jean. There wasn't even much thought. It just bubbled out of me that that was to be her name. My little AJ. "The LORD holds" her and Jean means "God is gracious," which . . . He soo is! It is funny . . . bc when I think of "AJ" now, even as I type this, it reminds me of my parents. They wanted another child . . . another girl . . . but because of medical reasons (I believe) . . . my parents had to stop after three girls. I am pretty sure they wanted to name this next girl Alexandra Joy (AJ) . . . that dream never came to pass :( . . . which is kind of like my story . . . but a little different. My AJ . . . she DID come to pass. She is just living with Jesus now . . . waiting for me to step into eternity to hold her and love on her tomorrow. (In heaven . . . time works differently, a day is like 1000 years and 1000 years is like a day) . . . This has been . . . well . . . the HARDEST thing I have ever gone through. But . . . you know what?! It has been an amazing journey. My journey with Achazia started with my journey with Peace, my Word of the Year for 2011.
January 1st, 2011. . . I was spending time with God praying that He would impart peace to me during this past year. I immediately heard Him call me "Winifred Bethels". . . I thought . . . seriously?! What? That was the name I called my little sister as a child to tease her . . . (her real name is Whitney Beth). So, I looked up the names. "Winifred" means "Peaceful Friend" and "Bethel" means "House of God." So, I was in fact, hearing from God! I was so shocked, lol! I shouldn't be. I mean . . . I am one of His sheep . . . and we do hear His voice! Anyways . . . God spoke to me in that instance about how what I intended as a curse . . . and satan intended for bad . . . He, in fact, used as a blessing. I was speaking life over my sis and I didn't even know it! Of course, after this encounter, I contacted my sister and repented for my evil intentions as a child! But I also shared it with her so I could encourage her with how real and amazing God is!
Anyways, God was calling me "Peaceful Friend," and "House of God" . . . both important for later. But . . . at the time . . . I was NOT peaceful! I know God sees us through Jesus . . . but man . . . that was definitely not a way I would describe myself . . . hence . . . my Word of the Year! Through the next many months God really started to work on my peace. I can't say I was perfect in that area . . . or that I did all the things I wanted to do with my word with regards to scripture memory . . . books to read etc. But. Since God rocks . . . He did so much in my heart in spite of me! Isn't He great?! All of our effort . . . all of our good works . . . just filthy rags to Him . . . instead . . . He just lavishes His love on me . . . all the time . . . even when I don't hit the goal . . . meet the standards (cuz I never do!) . . . What really started to change in my heart was my awareness of my choice to receive and walk in His peace in different situations in life as I encountered them.
My biggest test in peace was with my pregnancy. First. It was just to get pregnant in the first place. It took me 2.5 years before everything fell into place . . . and I was getting discouraged and restless. Now, I can't say I walked this out in perfect peace . . . but God was certainly working it into me! When I finally got pregnant. Wow. I was so happy!!! Then I needed to be at peace . . . and speak peacefully . . . and interact peacefully with my kids. My hormones were going crazy and . . . as many of you know . . . when I am prego I get ridiculously sick where many days I am pretty certain I am about to meet my maker. :) During that part of my trial, mommy had a HARD time being sweet :) I am grumpy when I feel yucky. I need to grow in that area for my next pregnancy blessing! Then, the biggest test I have ever had with peace happened when I had a second ultrasound and found out my baby was with Jesus. I was not prepared at all for this to happen because everything had looked so good up until that point. And I was still super sick . . . how could I have lost the baby? Doesn't being sick mean things should be healthy with the baby?! Not so in my case. :( Well . . . I can honestly say God is still good. He never left me during this time. In fact . . . I have found a peace that I have never known before. It is crazy amazing. He has not only held Achazia during this time, but me. Through encouraging dreams, words of kindness from friends and family . . . and just through His presence . . . I have felt His love and peace overflowing in my life.
I am so thankful for my baby girl . . . I am so thankful for a Daddy that loves me and cares so well for me. This year, my Word of the Year is going to be "Be Present" with God and my kids. That is kind of the "Bethel" part of what God spoke over me a year ago. When I think of "House of God" I think of God's presence . . . and where it dwells. I want to soak in that. I know He lives in me . . . and the Body of Christ . . . so I am asking the Holy Spirit to really. . . help me find a new, deeper place with Him. I want to agree with God in nourishing my relationship with Him . . . and my kids. Now, granted . . . I still have a lot of work with peace . . . so I'm not saying I'm done there! I am going to keep pursuing peace . . . really . . . pursuing God (the Prince of Peace) . . . and asking him to insert peace into my spirit :) May you be blessed as you seek out God this year. I pray that He will give you a new hunger and passion for Him and the things that matter to His heart :)
January 1st, 2011. . . I was spending time with God praying that He would impart peace to me during this past year. I immediately heard Him call me "Winifred Bethels". . . I thought . . . seriously?! What? That was the name I called my little sister as a child to tease her . . . (her real name is Whitney Beth). So, I looked up the names. "Winifred" means "Peaceful Friend" and "Bethel" means "House of God." So, I was in fact, hearing from God! I was so shocked, lol! I shouldn't be. I mean . . . I am one of His sheep . . . and we do hear His voice! Anyways . . . God spoke to me in that instance about how what I intended as a curse . . . and satan intended for bad . . . He, in fact, used as a blessing. I was speaking life over my sis and I didn't even know it! Of course, after this encounter, I contacted my sister and repented for my evil intentions as a child! But I also shared it with her so I could encourage her with how real and amazing God is!
Anyways, God was calling me "Peaceful Friend," and "House of God" . . . both important for later. But . . . at the time . . . I was NOT peaceful! I know God sees us through Jesus . . . but man . . . that was definitely not a way I would describe myself . . . hence . . . my Word of the Year! Through the next many months God really started to work on my peace. I can't say I was perfect in that area . . . or that I did all the things I wanted to do with my word with regards to scripture memory . . . books to read etc. But. Since God rocks . . . He did so much in my heart in spite of me! Isn't He great?! All of our effort . . . all of our good works . . . just filthy rags to Him . . . instead . . . He just lavishes His love on me . . . all the time . . . even when I don't hit the goal . . . meet the standards (cuz I never do!) . . . What really started to change in my heart was my awareness of my choice to receive and walk in His peace in different situations in life as I encountered them.
My biggest test in peace was with my pregnancy. First. It was just to get pregnant in the first place. It took me 2.5 years before everything fell into place . . . and I was getting discouraged and restless. Now, I can't say I walked this out in perfect peace . . . but God was certainly working it into me! When I finally got pregnant. Wow. I was so happy!!! Then I needed to be at peace . . . and speak peacefully . . . and interact peacefully with my kids. My hormones were going crazy and . . . as many of you know . . . when I am prego I get ridiculously sick where many days I am pretty certain I am about to meet my maker. :) During that part of my trial, mommy had a HARD time being sweet :) I am grumpy when I feel yucky. I need to grow in that area for my next pregnancy blessing! Then, the biggest test I have ever had with peace happened when I had a second ultrasound and found out my baby was with Jesus. I was not prepared at all for this to happen because everything had looked so good up until that point. And I was still super sick . . . how could I have lost the baby? Doesn't being sick mean things should be healthy with the baby?! Not so in my case. :( Well . . . I can honestly say God is still good. He never left me during this time. In fact . . . I have found a peace that I have never known before. It is crazy amazing. He has not only held Achazia during this time, but me. Through encouraging dreams, words of kindness from friends and family . . . and just through His presence . . . I have felt His love and peace overflowing in my life.
I am so thankful for my baby girl . . . I am so thankful for a Daddy that loves me and cares so well for me. This year, my Word of the Year is going to be "Be Present" with God and my kids. That is kind of the "Bethel" part of what God spoke over me a year ago. When I think of "House of God" I think of God's presence . . . and where it dwells. I want to soak in that. I know He lives in me . . . and the Body of Christ . . . so I am asking the Holy Spirit to really. . . help me find a new, deeper place with Him. I want to agree with God in nourishing my relationship with Him . . . and my kids. Now, granted . . . I still have a lot of work with peace . . . so I'm not saying I'm done there! I am going to keep pursuing peace . . . really . . . pursuing God (the Prince of Peace) . . . and asking him to insert peace into my spirit :) May you be blessed as you seek out God this year. I pray that He will give you a new hunger and passion for Him and the things that matter to His heart :)
Friday, October 14, 2011
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